A Realtionship That is, With One Logan Huntzberger
by beautymarked
Summary: COMPLETE Rory contemplates about life, her life to be exact. What she is, what she has become and how she can't live without Logan.
1. I'll Just Have to Show Him

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Gilmore Girls except the ideas of this story! Enjoy!

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Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you turned out just like your mother. Just a easy going, free spirited, crazy, nicknaming woman who doesn't give a flying hoot about what anyone thinks of her. For me, I've wondered this all my life. I've always wanted to be like her- she's so imperfect that she is perfect.

Now let me explain, my mother can be crazy, loud, out-spoken- okay just plain nuts! But she has the most amazing heart in the world and I just wish that I could be half the woman she is. I realize being Lorelei Gilmore is a tough feat in itself, but I've already got the name, so it's a definite start.

With men, or boys, I'm quite different from her. I take my time in relationships and don't plough through them. This seems to be one of my mom's life mottos, "take the bull by the horns and plough on through!" Yes, the infamous words of one Lorelei Gilmore are what attracted me to be in such a relationship.

A relationship that is, with one Logan Huntzberger. I know what you're thing, "he's an awful lot like Tristan!" Blah! Blah! Blah! I realize he has similar ways to annoy and bug me, but those were very unattractive to me then, now they are just damn sexy!

I must admit that my innocence has had something to do with the fear of getting into a relationship with a playboy, but now I just want to have a good time.

I've had two serious relationships in my life, okay well one and a half. Dean was my first love, he was my first everything! I'll never forget that but the ending of that relationship happened when our worlds collided and he didn't want the impact of the hurt to hit him. Stupid boys!

Then there's Jess, how I miss that dear boy. Sure he asked me to come to New York with him, sure he did. But I was stupid and said no, I couldn't leave my mom and school behind- now _that_ would have been really dumb!

Now I'm in a loose relationship as one might call it. I really do like Logan and enjoy the adventure he brings to my life- another few firsts with that boy! But I haven't decided if I love him yet!

Sure I've slept with him- a definite non-Rory thing as Lane has told me. I know, I know, how could you- not our sweet and innocent Rory! Truth is I'm tired of that label and am willing to risk a slight portion of my reputation to change that.

I'm still the crazy, over studying Rory who loves to read and get lost in a good book. And I don't go around sleeping with every guy I see- sleeping with Logan just kind of, well, happened. We weren't even drunk which I thought would be a must in order to get me in a bed with Logan Huntzberger, not to mention without the clothes.

We were having a battle of wits, our usual evening routine, when he asked me to continue over dinner. And so we did, which is apparently our forte! Fight, fight, fight! Laugh! Laugh! Laugh! Then came the unexpected kiss- in-between a rebuttal I was about to make- which needless to say I forgot.

It's occurred to me now that our relationship is built on passion- extremely heated passion might I add. And now our routine has changed a bit- mostly for the better!

We have an argument, mixed with kisses and anger, which lead to animalistic sex filled with all kinds of passion imaginable. It's undeniably the oddest thing that has ever happened to me. Who would expect me to become so addicted to sex- but when it's with Logan Huntzberger who could resist?

Ah the good things of Logan- he's witty, sly, coy even, charming and quite funny- though I do hate to admit it. But with good comes bad- a playboy, annoying, unreliable snob! Yep, that's the man I love- good and bad! Did I just say love? Maybe I do love the guy, but sometimes he makes me so angry I can barely breath- then he kisses me and the tension just flies from me into an unmemorable dream.

So what exactly Logan and I to each other? I have no clue really. I'd say we were lovers who get lost in each other's games. Maybe he loves me back and we're in a "serious" relationship. I really couldn't tell you, but what I do know, is that my life is boring with out him.

I actually can't have a good day without him calling me or arguing with me. You probably think I'm crazy to like arguing but he's so passionate and so real with each issue. He gets on my nerves most of the time- but that's what I love. I guess being bugged is exciting, a real thrill.

Maybe one day I'll look back and say, "Man I was stupid to have loved fighting!"

But right now, that day isn't here, so I'm going to live my life to the fullest- to enjoy the arguments and the making up that follows. I'm going to love Logan without his consent- without his returned love because I can. Logan is one lucky guy and I don't think he realizes it- I guess I'll just have to show him!

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A/N: Please review- this was a one shot unless you guys want to see Logan's thoughts. 


	2. Never Thought I'd See The Day

Lust, the other L word that our society seems to be fascinated by. It, however, is usually confused with the most famous of L words, love. Now love and lust are apparently two different things- but let's check out the difference as described in the dictionary: Lust: "To have an intense or obsessive desire, especially one that is sexual."

Ah, the other common word- sex. Why is it that when sex is involved, things turn complicated? My guess would be that it's a complicated thing itself. Lust seems to provoke feelings and emotions in us- which we mistake for love. So when I think about my love for Logan, I have to wonder if it's merely lust or is it really love.

I wouldn't say that I believe completely in the whole, fall in love get married have children thing. As much as I'd like that to happen, I doubt it's a real thing. See, I know I at least lust for Logan now and I do like being with him- but does that mean that I'm in love or that I love the guy?

What a thing to ponder, it's confusing- especially when sex is involved. How can we be sure we love someone after we have sex with them? Shouldn't we love someone before we give into our desires and sleep with them? Wouldn't that save the trouble of any pregnancies if we loved our lovers like the name suggests?

I'm sitting here in bed, watching the pondering Rory Gilmore fiddle with a notebook and pen as she scribbles after we've had sex. God, I love that she's so addicted to writing, it makes me curious about what she's writing about. Is she judging my performance? Is she writing about the experience? Or did she just get this brilliant idea and couldn't wait for us to be done to write it down? Many a thing to think about when being in love with Rory Gilmore. It's too bad she didn't know and I can't exactly tell her.

A girl so perfect, genuine, and obviously not as innocent as I had originally thought, wouldn't want to go through that whole love thing again. And do I believe in love anyway? I never did, but then I met Rory and my world just did a belly flop.

For me, love is a battle field- and no I'm not being corny and mimicking the song. I had to win Rory- there was memories of her exes that lingered and hovered over our relationship and I needed to get her to forget about them. Then there was Marty- her best male friend. He was totally in love with her and I needed to get to her before he did. Luckily I did just that and here we are.

Love is more like wanting to be with someone, longing for that person and being their everything. It's not about worshiping them to the end's earth or anything like in those romance chick flicks that Rory drags me to. Love for me is being with Rory, it's a comfort, its safety yet hazard. Love is walking controversy and there's nothing that can be done to change that.

I often wonder if Rory loves me back, if she feels the need to be with me every minute of the day, and honestly, I hope she does. I know, the great Logan Huntzberger, a one woman man! But with Rory how could I be any other way. She demands my commitment, and she gets jealous of any other women in my life. I often think that she believes I'll leave her, that I won't want to be with her anymore. But that is so far from the truth and I hope she realizes it.

She's a special woman, beautiful in an obvious way that she is completely oblivious to. The fact that she doesn't know her beauty or her innocence are what make her so attractive, so alluring. She has this wild side that completely catch you off guard and you think that this is a completely different person. She lets herself out of a shell and its awesome to see her like that, to be free. But I still love her up-tight, scared self, because that's who she is, that's Rory Gilmore.

After sex, she's even cuter- she self consciously pulls the sheet up to her shoulders and tucks it under her arms as if someone were to walk in. She doesn't like to be in the nude afterwards, so she usually puts on pajamas. She's the perfect combination of adult and child. Who knew that I could ever fall in love with such an incredible woman! I never thought I'd see the day!

A/n: I hope you enjoyed, please review.


	3. You Are My Reality

So…another night spent with Logan- I can't even recall the nights when I don't end up in Logan's bed. And no, I don't always end here because of sex- I end up here because he takes care of me and doesn't want me driving home late at night. Maybe he loves me and that's why he makes me stay. All I know is that I don't think I could stand waking up without him next to me.

I shall have to experiment one night, waking up with him not next to me or snuggled up into his chest. Then I will truly know if I can bear being alone again- that is if he ever tries to hurt me.

But, to be honest, I don't think Logan would ever intentionally hurt me- I mean we've been together like a year now, so it seems like everything is right.

"Rory," he cooed in my ear as I wrote down my thoughts.

"Unhuh," I reply jotting down some more.

"I have to tell you something. Something I've never told a girl and meant it before," he was now fidgeting with his fingers. Logan never fidgeted. He had my full attention now as I shut the notebook and dropped the pen.

"Go ahead," I pushed and waited as he wrapped his arm around me softly.

"I know we've been dating for a while now, and this has been something I've wanted to say for some time now," he began and I waited patiently for what I hoped was 'I love you'.

"Yes, we have. It's been a great year," I commented and waited for him to continue.

"And, I'm not going to beat around the bush another minute. Rory Leigh Gilmore- I love you!" he exclaimed. My only response was to kiss him hard and square in the mouth. A few moments later I pulled away lacking breath.

"Logan, I have something to tell you too," I said quietly and looked deep into his honey coloured eyes.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear.

He stops what he's doing, looks up at me and smiles that smile that could melt a frackin ice burg. I smile back of course and slink down into the crook of his half dressed body. He pulls me tightly to him and we lay like this for a while. I put down my book and shut off the light- snuggle time with Logan is the best time. He holds me even tighter as if he's afraid I'll leave him or something.

"Logan, I think the death grip you have on me is well… a little too lethal!" I laughed lightly as he loosened his arms only slightly.

"I just don't ever want to let you go Rory- how could I?"

"I'm never going to leave you- you do realize that," I looked into his eyes again- the only time he's ever looked vulnerable and it was this exact moment.

"I know Ror, I just want to make sure I have you and that you're not just some dream."

"I'll never be a dream to you. And you'll never be a dream to me. You are my reality, my life. I can't wake up without Logan, I love you too much," I pressed my lips to his innocently, but he shot back with a streak of passion that was reminiscent of the first time we kissed. Actually every time we kissed felt like the first- but this was one of those "I'll die without you" kisses that you only have in your dreams.

This kiss of course led to other things- a night of passionate sex that was totally wild and carefree. It was heated and perfect almost as if it would never come again. I guess that when you love someone, this is what it feels like- passion, heat, longing.

All I know is that without Logan I'm incomplete and I don't ever want to be that way.

The End

A/n: What's you think?


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